A Conversation With Osama bin Laden

I had a day dream today in which I chanced to have a conversation with Osama bin Laden. I asked him, “How did you hope the United States would react to your attack on September 11, 2001?”

He said, “First of all I hoped you would get into a war with some Islamic country. Afghanistan would be good since the Afghans are so accustomed to fighting European invaders that they can do it forever. I didn’t predict your short term success, but I was pretty sure you’d regret it in the long run. Not only would it cost you in blood and treasury, but it would help to polarize attitudes on both sides of the struggle over the future of Islam, that is, will it modernize or not. Next I hoped it would incite a lot of anti Muslim sentiment in the U.S. with attendant displays of hatred. That would surely help my recruitment efforts. Third, I dared to hope that what was really only a symbolic strike given the size of the US, absolutely minor in real damage to either lives or property, would come to be interpreted as some kind of catastrophic blow. Since I didn’t really give a shit for your personal rights to privacy, trial by jury, etc. I didn’t particularly hope they would be curtailed. They mean nothing to me. Finally I hoped and I continue to fervently hope that you will never ever forget. You know, it was a pretty big day for me. I’d hate for you to just get over it.

Me: Well how’s it going for you then?

Him: Pretty well I’d say.