Fear

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I doubt if there is any human emotion more elemental than fear. Others may be its equal, but none surpass it in defining what we are. Fear of physical harm, fear of loss, fear of shame compel us, often in unflattering directions. Much of our most craven, least humane behavior results from some sort of fear. I can’t recall Timothy McVeigh’s motives, but the Alabama Sunday School bombers were surely afraid of the coming end of their way of life. Fear can strip from us the veneer of civilized life that we wear so comfortably and thoughtlessly in ordinary circumstances.

The survival value of fear is easy to see. I’m not sure if fish have fear or just swim about oblivious to danger, right up to the moment when they meet their end, but surely it was not too long after the creatures that were to become mammals crawled out of the sea, that something like fear began to evolve. Those creatures who had some of it did better than those without it, and that’s why we have it now. I wonder though if the creatures at the top of the food chain today know fear. Is a grizzly ever frightened or do they just go where they want and do what they want without a second thought? Humans, who might be thought of as being at the top of the food chain, (though not by me) of course have fear of their own kind. I don’t think male grizzlies do that. I think maybe a male grizzly just does not know what fear is.

Perhaps the most striking part of a visit to the Galapagos Islands is to walk among wild animals that have no fear of humans. It's really stunning to have one’s presence go rather unnoticed by all manner of bird, reptile and seal. Of course these same creatures may fear something else. The remarkable experience is for the human who is accustomed to being feared to suddenly not inspire fear.

There are those of us who at times appear virtually fearless. Perhaps it is not that the sky diver is fearless, but that he or she does not allow the fear they feel to dominate their actions. Or perhaps some have such confidence in the engineering and physics of the situation that they have no more adrenaline rush than others have when they get into a car.

And finally we come to the politically motivated suicide. What is the fear quotient of a person who is walking around with a load of high explosives taped to his torso? Is this person fearless, or simply in control of his fear? I surely don’t know, but I have a hunch that that Nigerian son of a banker, had something going on that was a lot like FEAR. He sat for hours and hours with explosives strapped to his body. What was he thinking about all that time? We are not programmed to seek death. We are the opposite. After he went to the bathroom and had the greatest bowel movement of his life, what did he do? He was there in that private space with whatever time he needed to insure that all was well with his bomb. In fact he could have detonated it to equal effect right there. I suspect that it was not the bomb that failed, but the bomber and that the failure was due to fear.

Annual Report 2009

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What follows is the text of our annual letter minus certain personal remarks that embellished most of the individual transmittals.

On February 27 Meredith gave birth to Theodore Christopher Reinhart. This certainly swamps all other events of the year. He’s a big boy; currently 95th percentile in height and 75th in weight. He and his mom and dad have been with us for the past 5 days and he’s doing fine, crawling all about, pulling to stand, making faces and guttural noises. He’s generally very jolly except when it comes to sleeping. Somehow in a complete reversal of his genetic make up, he is not such a great sleeper. He’s been sleeping in our bedroom while here in order to give his folks a few full nights of rest. Now we are ready for the same. Meredith has surprised herself and others with a previously unrevealed gift for child care.

The family continues to live a bit in limbo in Arlington VA. They would prefer to be in the Northwest, but both have good employment in the East and this is probably not the time to be walking out on a good job.

Our darling Phoenix (son of Nat) continues to inspire in us all the love a grandparent could possibly feel. We get to see him at least weekly and often more. He loves to laugh and when he does his flashing eyes and dimpled smile light up the room and our hearts. Through the first four years of his life he was virtually never naughty and he certainly never felt the sting of a hand on his backside, (unlike his father). But about a month ago he learned that naughty can be fun. He has been employing this new found wisdom with some regularity for a few weeks, and presenting his paternal grandfather with some philosophical problems.

The poultry population around here is up to 5 chickens and now, due to some caring friends, 2 ducks. As predicted by Meredith several years ago, none has yet called Beth grandma and until they do they continue to live outside. FYI chickens appear to be substantially smarter than ducks. Roosters are not allowed in the city, but one of the ducks is a drake and he and his partner were at it this morning on the pond. Could there be ducklings in the spring?

We are personally in good health and comfortable in all important ways although age continues to nibble away at us and we are aware of the fact. In fact it is in my mind just about all the time. Any substantive thought that may have occurred to me this year is buried within the drivel of this blog. http://www.anecdotesandmusings.blogspot.com

We send our best wishes for the new year to you and yours.

Paul and Beth